it's so hard for me to form these words...
you make me whole, yet this distance is ripping me back apart.
i know you say not to, but i believe i will always be worried about scaring you or pushing you away.
there are so many dark thoughts in my mind, and i never want to hurt you.
and i know you hate when i talk of my past relationships, but none of them compare to this.
i've never felt this way.
i'm not sure i'll ever be able to explain exactly how you make me feel...
i don't feel worthless anymore...
i may not express my feelings well, but i would do anything you asked.
whenever i see you smile, my heart skips and i wonder if i'm what made you smile.
i love staring at you... even if it's through this damned computer screen.
i want to commit your face to memory, so i can dream about you every night.
i want to curl up beside you and watch as your eyelids flutter closed every night.
i want to wake up in the morning, wrapped safely in your arms.
i love all of your pet names for me... but i would maim anyone else who dared to call me 'baby girl.'
i love the way your nose crinkles when you laugh.
i still find your jealousy and road rage charming.
i love your sense of humour and all of your off-colour jokes.
i love when you read me, even if sometimes you're way off base.
i hate when my bad mood transfers to you... i hate having you feel my pain.
i hate that the eighth grader bothers you so much...
he's not worth it.
i hate not knowing if i annoy you.
i hate not being with you right this second.
...i hate not being able to read you...
apparently 'distance makes the heart grow fonder...'
well, i'm pretty fucking fond of you.
i will love you forever.
even after death.
i promise i'll come back, just to haunt you.
i love you more than you could ever understand.