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Apr. 13th, 2011

squee, jthm

communication

It's something many humans have trouble with today.
I recently had a conversation with someone about a certain website that promotes affairs.
I used to be fifty-fifty on the open relationship, but NEVER with marriage.
If you can't handle the monogamous part of marriage, don't get married.
This site basically tells you to ignore your vows, forget all promises made,and ruin your familys life.
Just for a fuck.
Sounds WONDERFUL.
There's no need to honour your commitment to your significant other.
Absolutely not. :/
If you're having marital issues, save for abuse, communication is the answer.
If you can't communicate, go without sex for a while.
Eventually, the other will feel the need and one of two things will happen;
they'll do anything in their power to get sex, or they'll get it elsewhere and the marriage contract is void.
You married each other for a reason... don't let sex screw it up.

Apr. 10th, 2011

squee, jthm

hey, you. yeah, you!

i love you more than you could ever understand.
it's so hard for me to form these words...
you make me whole, yet this distance is ripping me back apart.
i know you say not to, but i believe i will always be worried about scaring you or pushing you away.
there are so many dark thoughts in my mind, and i never want to hurt you.
and i know you hate when i talk of my past relationships, but none of them compare to this.
i've never felt this way.
not once.
i'm not sure i'll ever be able to explain exactly how you make me feel...
i don't feel worthless anymore...
i may not express my feelings well, but i would do anything you asked.
whenever i see you smile, my heart skips and i wonder if i'm what made you smile.
i love staring at you... even if it's through this damned computer screen.
i want to commit your face to memory, so i can dream about you every night.
i want to curl up beside you and watch as your eyelids flutter closed every night.
i want to wake up in the morning, wrapped safely in your arms.
i love all of your pet names for me... but i would maim anyone else who dared to call me 'baby girl.'
i love the way your nose crinkles when you laugh.
i still find your jealousy and road rage charming.
i love your sense of humour and all of your off-colour jokes.
i love when you read me, even if sometimes you're way off base.
i hate when my bad mood transfers to you... i hate having you feel my pain.
i hate that the eighth grader bothers you so much...
he's not worth it.
i hate not knowing if i annoy you.
i hate not being with you right this second.
...i hate not being able to read you...
apparently 'distance makes the heart grow fonder...'
well, i'm pretty fucking fond of you.
i will love you forever.
even after death.
i promise i'll come back, just to haunt you.

Apr. 9th, 2011

squee, jthm

fuck

i am so fucking pissed.
i am tired of your bullshit.
i've tried countless times to continue our friendship, but i'm becoming physically ill whenever i speak to you.
i'm starting to hate you.

Apr. 8th, 2011

squee, jthm

notitle----

i love you more than i have ever loved anyone.
the distance is torture and i miss you terribly.
i'm still afraid that one day you'll either tire of me or i'll frighten you.
i'm just terrified of you leaving, in any capacity.
but i'm trying to remain optimistic and think of spending forever with you.
squee, jthm

O.O

oh my.
i haven't been on here in two years.
so much shit has happened...
and i miss being as creative as i once once, but i suppose that's what life does to you.
it sucks every ounce of awesome out of your body.
meh.

Mar. 27th, 2009

squee, jthm

still calling out a name

i felt it... that feeling.

why, i'll never know.

but i felt it...

that feeling.

it passed through me, like a current.

it was gone, just as briskly as it came.

i felt it... that feeling.

and everything was perfect for a moment.

but then...

as i opened my eyes, it fled.

i felt it... that feeling.

but that feeling... was a lie.

Feb. 10th, 2009

cup o' tea, relax, billy, tea

...dead flowers...

i expected the bird to fly away when i approached it... flutter its wings frantically and disappear into the trees;
however...as i inched closer... i saw its neck.
and i cried.

Feb. 7th, 2009

fire

nihilum

well, hello!

it's been awhile.

i can't exactly say i'm doing well...

i'm slowing disintegrating.
i'm becoming nothing.
i'm disappearing.
i'm becoming my worst nightmare.

there's been so much going on lately and i haven't known how to deal with it, so i've either pushed it to the outer regions of my mind or reacted foolishly... aka: yelling and screaming and just asking for a fight.

because i'm a dumbass.

i need help.

...but honestly...

who can help me?

who wants to help me?

i'm practically... worthless now.

yay.
squee, jthm

i promise you, you mean something to me

the smell lingers on your pillow...
you can taste it on your lips...
but that's nothing a good mouthwash and detergent can't fix...

Jan. 8th, 2009

squee, jthm

well poo

i've been extremely busy lately.

i've had this virus that still hasn't gone away, even though it's been two weeks.

i've had way too many projects and papers... and none of them are even halfway done.

the holidays were fun... but draining...

and my boyfriend...

well all i can say is that i'm a bitch...

>.

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